Thursday, December 13, 2007

Am I missing the bigger picture here?


Maybe I put too much stake in people and their opinions of me. Maybe. Maybe I need to learn to let go more easily. I can understand why people would "zing" me if I had done something wrong, but it really hurts when you think someone's your friend and then all of a sudden, they cut you to the quick. I know I have issues. I am trying to deal with them. Blogging them helps. I tend to turn on worship music while blogging and writing and listening to music is very therapeutic for me. I just want to be loved. Needed. Wanted. Not just by my immediate family, but by people outside my family. Is that so wrong? I do not feel acceptance from most people I know. I feel like everyone tolerates me. And barely at that. So, I am seeking to change. Or maybe, in my seeking, God will reveal to me that maybe its more others than me that need to change. Maybe I'm not such a lousy person after all. I know that God loves me unconditionally and accepts me for who I am. But sometimes that isn't enough. I know its suppose to be. And I know humans can let you down. But for some reason, it seems like I get let down by others more than others get let down by the people around them. Ahh well. The music that I've selected to share here has spoken to my heart and God has put salve in the wounds through it (the music) once again. I knew that there was a reason I picked the songs I did!